big ideas

this is a really, really, really great article. (by Michael Pollan, in the NY Times)

Here is the last line of the article, a quote from Harry Balzer, a person who has been studying American eating habits for the last 30 years:

“Easy. You want Americans to eat less? I have the diet for you. It’s short, and it’s simple. Here’s my diet plan: Cook it yourself. That’s it. Eat anything you want — just as long as you’re willing to cook it yourself.”

hmm.

i wonder what would happen if i stopped eating packaged foods? just stopped, you know, entirely. i wonder a) if i could do it, and b) how my diet would change.

hmm.

last year, as you may recall, i stopped drinking diet coke. i was hoping that this would help me crave sugar less and that i would lose weight. wellll....it didn't quite happen that way. turns out i was using/abusing dc as a food-replacement device of sorts. whenever i felt like putting something in my mouth, i could reach for a dc and not be eating any calories...

so, quitting has caused me to gain weight...now whenever i feel like eating something, i usually reach for something carby. like granola bars. without the diet coke there as a zero-cal choice, i end up eating wayyy more than i used to. (i used to drink upwards of 6 bottles of dc a day.) (yikes) i still haven't found a low-calorie substitute for dc that isn't full of chemicals. i do drink tons more water than i used to, but water just doesn't have the ability to satisfy as diet coke did.

am i healthier? oh yes. for sure, without a doubt. (i am also richer. turns out i spent a massive chunk of change on my diet coke habit.)

around the same time, i also stopped buying things like 100 cal. packs and skinny cows, and any WW "food products" and decided to only eat 'real' food. but, i still eat 'real' food that comes in packages...(kashi granola bars, craisins, cereal, real ice cream, store-bought wheat bread etc.)

i believe this has also caused weight gain....you see, i am still very much a sweet tooth/carby person, and when i reach for something, i'm still not reaching for the veggies. so instead of reaching for a 100 cal pack or skinny cow, i reach for real ice cream. or a 200 cal granola bar. or 2 pieces of whole wheat toast, with real butter. less chemicals? yes. more calories? yes.

so, i'm thinking about possibly considering if i could get rid of all packaged foods/snacks...and only eat things that i make, or fresh vegs/fruits etc. would i eat less ice cream if it was ice cream that i made? maybe. i tend to ration items that are "special"...and homemade ice cream is more special than a 1/2 gallon that i could easily replace as soon as it's gone. same for homemade bread.

there is also the added bonus of knowing exactly what you put in whatever you are eating...the image of putting a whole container of heavy cream and 6 egg yolks did actually make me eat less of the last batch of homemade pear ice cream that i made. the same thing gave me the incentive to give away all but one of the last batch of choc. chip cookies that i made--seeing the 2.5 stick of butter going into the dough gave me more than a moments pause.

hmm...

i'm going to think about that for a few days.

ok, seriously

this whole "intuitive eating" concept still eludes me. it has been roughly 2 years since we started this blog...and i believe i am probably heavier than i was in fall 2007. actually, i know i am. the pants don't lie.

i've been putting off getting on the scale for...18 months? i hate the numbers game. but i am starting to think that maybe i need to. harumph.

i quit WW online awhile back because the points system was driving me nuts. but, now i'm starting to think i should go back...i need to journal and keep track of what goes in my mouth.

good news is, i've maintained whatever number i'm at for...18 months. i am still technically a 32 in jeans, and a size 12 dress/skirt/pants....but i find some of those 12's to be *very* squishy and constricting. (i.e. shouldn't be worn out of the house.) in fact, there is just 1 pair of jeans that i like wearing, and i have 6 skirts/pants that i feel comfy wearing. yikes. i'd just like to be able to pick up anything in my closet and put it on without worrying about muffin tops and other unsightly bulges.

rahh.

so. to weigh in, or not to weigh in? to WW or not to WW? those are the questions.

Status Update

pants: tight

motivation level: low

fear of bathing suit level: extremely high

laziness level: high


sigh. i went to san francisco and napa valley last week and had possibly the best food week of my entire life.

miette--check
the french laundry--check
bouchon--check
bouchon bakery--check check
chez panisse--check check

oh. my. gosh. i heart thomas keller and alice waters. to die for.

and now i am feeling the after-effects. and my mouth is craving baked goods and things made with lots and lots of delicious butter, and oil, and cream and...i digress.

so. time to get serious. yet again. i just feel so blah about the whole diet and exercise department lately. i'm sick of being a dieter, of thinking about calories and constantly feeling like i need to exercise more or eat less or something. boo.

Sigh

Oh, diligence.  Why have you let me down?  I have been eating well and logging everyday (except for one).  I feel good.  But I haven't lost any weight in weeks, in fact, I appear to have gained a few back.  I keep thinking that the weight was leftover from exercising (water retention, etc) but I'm now realizing that perhaps that was just wishful thinking.  I weighed 141 this morning.  URGH.  (even after 6 hours of xc skiing this weekend?  WTF?)

I suppose there is nothing for me to do but keep doing what I'm doing.  I eat different things, and don't eat the same number of calories every day, so I'm not really sure what the problem is.  Perhaps I'm just meant to be at this weight, so maybe I should just be content that my blood sugar feels right and accept my size for what it is?

oh, where have my boobs gone?

I suppose I should be happy. With proper eating and a bit of exercise, I feel in control, my blood sugar doesn't seem wonky anymore, and I've lost 5 pounds (placing me back in the 130s). But, I miss my boobs. Until yesterday, I didn't notice that seemingly all 5 lost pounds have come directly from my chest. And I really didn't have much there in the first place. Oh well. Onwards!

RAVE...and rant

RAVE!!! Love love love the "Lose It!" app for iPhones. Seriously, best "tool" for weight loss/nutrition/exercise I've ever seen. And it is free. Always with you. And doesn't even require internet access. I'm tracking for full nutrition because I'm getting increasingly worried about my diabetes risk (family history - some skinny relatives get it too!!!). When I used to do WW online, I thought it was good. But I'd never go back. This is a lot easier. And more complete. (Why pay for WW when you can put that $$ towards your iPhone's data plan?) I think it should work for the iPod Touch too, actually...

RAVE!!! The boy is being really nice - he walks 30 minutes in the cold at night even when he's hungry to walk me home (another 30 min in the cold) from the train station, helping me keep up with a part-of-life exercise plan. The treadmill just hasn't been working for me. I just never get on it. So that means I'm getting (except for bad weather, which isn't that unusual for New England) 1 hr of walking per day.

RAVE!!! Cross-country skiing. The boy is also to thank for this - he got us $5 (perfectly fitting) sets at a yard sale and we've been going out every weekend for ~2hr of skiing. Its also free. and fun. And burns soooooo many calories. I love it, and actually look forward to it snowing now.

RAVE!!! I weighed 141 this morning. That 3 lbs down so far. I have 13 more to go.

Rant - OK, so not everything is peachy. I've been stuggling with mini pity-parties. My friends and work colleagues are all (seemingly effortlessly) skinny. Even those women who have had babies (and twins!). I keep feeling sorry for myself that it isn't that easy for me. And that I have to worry about a top showing my love handles, whether those pants are too small in the thighs, or if my blood sugar is going to tank today. And I feel like I'm the only in my local world. I know I just need to get over it, and accept it as something I need to work on and "accept" forever, but...waaaaahhhhhh.

a horrible cold really is the best diet ever

so the cold that i mentioned way back in december really did turn out to be the catalyst i needed!

for me it usually takes about 3-5 days of not-ridiculous eating to break the cycle. not being able to taste anything for a few weeks was just what i needed to remind myself that i don't need to be eating all the time.

funny how that works.

anyway, i've just been trying to keep eating a reasonable amount of food...i'm exercising...but not counting calories or weighing in. but i am seeing results--jeans are much looser and shirts that were super tight last month are starting to fit.

so, i'm just going to keep doing this for awhile. i like not counting and not feeling like i'm on a diet. and i do feel like i'm in control. diets seem to make me kinda go crazy.

that is all. (for now)