well, yesterday was another one "for the books." honestly, i don't know what comes over me sometimes. i know i'm not actually crazy, but sometimes...well, i wonder. it was definitely an emotional eating/stress eating fest...mix up a little anxiety, sadness, tiny bit of boredom, a lot of procrastination and some general rebellion against the points system and losing weight in general...and voila, you have a day of food debauchery.
well, this needs to stop since i really don't want to be wearing mumus like fat homer anytime soon...or actually ever.
eating less...why is this such a hard concept for me to embrace?
you know what was bugging me? well, a lot of stuff..but one of the top things is this:
i'm completely obsessed with cupcakes, wedding cakes and cake in general. it's been a long time {semi-secret} dream of mine to either own a cupcake store or to make wedding cakes professionally. seriously. i really really really really really really want to. but i can't. or rather i'm too afraid to because i'm pretty sure i would get ginormously fat because of my lack of self control in the face of any baked goods. a pretty good part of this weight loss quest is that i hope i can get a handle on myself so that i can someday live out my dreams of being a fabulous wedding cake baker and/or cupcake purveyor.
anyway, that's what set me off. i wanted to bake and try a bunch of different recipes, but i was pretty sure i'd end up eating 90% of what i made...so instead i just ate a ton of other stuff because i was mad that i have no self control and can't be a pastry chef. (self-fulfilling prophecy...i know) pretty crazy huh. like i said...sometimes i think i should be committed.
anyway, today was better, i still have 4 points left. (!?) no exercise though.
SOOO...my goal for the week is 15 activity points by saturday and no more crazy eating.
{cupcake image: miette }
