oh, where have my boobs gone?

I suppose I should be happy. With proper eating and a bit of exercise, I feel in control, my blood sugar doesn't seem wonky anymore, and I've lost 5 pounds (placing me back in the 130s). But, I miss my boobs. Until yesterday, I didn't notice that seemingly all 5 lost pounds have come directly from my chest. And I really didn't have much there in the first place. Oh well. Onwards!

RAVE...and rant

RAVE!!! Love love love the "Lose It!" app for iPhones. Seriously, best "tool" for weight loss/nutrition/exercise I've ever seen. And it is free. Always with you. And doesn't even require internet access. I'm tracking for full nutrition because I'm getting increasingly worried about my diabetes risk (family history - some skinny relatives get it too!!!). When I used to do WW online, I thought it was good. But I'd never go back. This is a lot easier. And more complete. (Why pay for WW when you can put that $$ towards your iPhone's data plan?) I think it should work for the iPod Touch too, actually...

RAVE!!! The boy is being really nice - he walks 30 minutes in the cold at night even when he's hungry to walk me home (another 30 min in the cold) from the train station, helping me keep up with a part-of-life exercise plan. The treadmill just hasn't been working for me. I just never get on it. So that means I'm getting (except for bad weather, which isn't that unusual for New England) 1 hr of walking per day.

RAVE!!! Cross-country skiing. The boy is also to thank for this - he got us $5 (perfectly fitting) sets at a yard sale and we've been going out every weekend for ~2hr of skiing. Its also free. and fun. And burns soooooo many calories. I love it, and actually look forward to it snowing now.

RAVE!!! I weighed 141 this morning. That 3 lbs down so far. I have 13 more to go.

Rant - OK, so not everything is peachy. I've been stuggling with mini pity-parties. My friends and work colleagues are all (seemingly effortlessly) skinny. Even those women who have had babies (and twins!). I keep feeling sorry for myself that it isn't that easy for me. And that I have to worry about a top showing my love handles, whether those pants are too small in the thighs, or if my blood sugar is going to tank today. And I feel like I'm the only in my local world. I know I just need to get over it, and accept it as something I need to work on and "accept" forever, but...waaaaahhhhhh.

a horrible cold really is the best diet ever

so the cold that i mentioned way back in december really did turn out to be the catalyst i needed!

for me it usually takes about 3-5 days of not-ridiculous eating to break the cycle. not being able to taste anything for a few weeks was just what i needed to remind myself that i don't need to be eating all the time.

funny how that works.

anyway, i've just been trying to keep eating a reasonable amount of food...i'm exercising...but not counting calories or weighing in. but i am seeing results--jeans are much looser and shirts that were super tight last month are starting to fit.

so, i'm just going to keep doing this for awhile. i like not counting and not feeling like i'm on a diet. and i do feel like i'm in control. diets seem to make me kinda go crazy.

that is all. (for now)

Returned

I have returned. I missed blogging for the past, errr, 8 months or so. (has it really been that long). During those 8 months, I finished school, wrote a few papers (well, I'm still writing those papers...), started a new job, worked CRAZY hours, and gained a few pounds. Miraculously, it was only a few pounds. I've been weighing in at 144 for the past few weeks.

I haven't been exercising, and I can tell I'm not fit or strong. Let's just say that I'm so out of shape that I can feel my blood sugar going out of whack (I had the same feeling when I weighed almost 170 a few years ago) and I have trouble lifting heavy pots with one hand in the kitchen. Pathetic.

So I have returned to Skinnify. I am counting calories with the free Lose It app on my phone. And I am committed to walking to and from the train station (total 1 hr per day) unless there are extreme conditions out. The boy will walk to the train station at night to walk me home! I am also going to step up the pilates to make it routine...and am thinking about asking friends if they want to make dates of it to keep us honest.

This time, I'm really doing it to stay healthy. I don't want to get diabetes. So I need to fix this is a way that is sustainable. It was about time for me to recommit...and I feel really dorky that I'm doing it around New Years...

***quick update: have lost a few pounds already. its surely water weight, but its enough to keep me going. the "Lose It!" app has a corny name, but works very well - i have no excuse not to log because I can do it during my commute... My body seems to be slowly adjusting to eating a bit less. (The first few days on cut calories were pretty harsh.) I'm still having trouble with exercise because of the weather, but I'll keep trying. onwards!