Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Checking in

Soooooo. I'm weighing about 143 these days - which isn't so bad considering my lack of exercise and lack of restraint when it comes to eating. The defense is over and done. Graduation festivities have closed. And the family has left. My smaller jeans are feeling tighter and I'm suddenly aware of my love handles and the dreaded tire. I need to get back to it.

Luckily, it's bike riding season again (I really don't have time for much exercise right now - even though I've finished "school" I have a ton of work to get done this summer and I'm traveling a LOT). But what I'm really having trouble with is the food. WHY WHY WHY do I have to eat SOOO MUCH? I don't understand why it is so difficult for me to just eat less.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

this weekend=utter disaster

i had all kinds of high hopes for getting back in control and back on track. i don't know exactly what happened to get in the way...but it just didn't go down like that.

it probably has a lot to do with spending the whole weekend working on projects at home and hanging out with my brother. somehow when he's eating cookies all the time i just feel like i'm entitled to eat cookies too. i can only hold on for so long until i cave. i didn't actually eat any of his cookies...but i did buy a package of animal crackers at the grocery store (5 points) and ate those...along with numerous kashi cherry chocolate chunk granola bars, sugar free jello pudding and popcorn...which are my vices of late. yea, they don't sound too bad, but when your portions are out of control, it's not good no matter what you're eating. i've been keeping track for the most part and i'm already nearly out of flex points for the week. NOT GOOD! i'm heading into a majorly stressful week when i won't have much time for exercise, is going to be tricky (read: i feel like throwing in the towel).

and speaking of of my major hang-ups this week has been that i somehow hurt my knee last week and i haven't been going walking because it keeps getting worse. my knees always act up whenever i walk really fast or get anywhere close to running speed...and last weekend after i upped the speed on the treadmill my left knee started freaking out.


i keep telling myself that if i can give up diet coke i can conquer the portion control thing. i just always feel like i'm out of control.

oh yea, and i had to try on 3 skirts to find one that fit this morning. grrr. i really need to get my act together--STAT. the problem is the more things i feel like i need to fix and change, the less i want to do anything.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

today=new day

what is it about the scale? it has the power to totally throw me off and induce insta-depression.

anyway, yesterday was...not my best day. i'll just label it a full on 'cheat' day. i was keeping track of everything until about 5 pm (when i had 2 points left) and then i just kind of stopped caring..and started eating whatever i wanted. bad bad bad. that kind of behavior is exactly how i ended up back here and square zero. why is this so hard to learn? the only victory of the day was that i managed to avoid eating any of my brother's cookies (which the nutrition label says contain 270 cal and 15g fat! yikes!!)

i did try a new pilates video last night which i'm really excited about.

so, today it's back to food journaling, and clean eating. and no more of this pity party nonsense.

Friday, June 6, 2008


so, i was just a tiny bit excited to weigh in today because i have been on *best* behavior for this whole week. i've been journaling...i've kept track of everything i've eaten and i didn't go over my flex points. i've been eating healthy stuff--salads, lean chicken, yogurt, veggies and fruit etc. i haven't been cheating at all! i've worked out every day. i'm drinking all my water. i haven't eaten after 10 pm.

so how did the scale go up??!! 1.5 lbs? RAAH!

seriously. i was so expecting a 3 lb. loss...or at the very least -.5 or something. how can this be??


hate the scale. the jeans don't lie though...and those definitely feel looser.

i just have to keep doing what i'm doing and not let the numbers freak me out.

but seriously. URRGH!