harumph. well...let's not get into exact details...but i am very nearly back where i started.
am i surprised? not so much. i've been supremely naughty on the eating front. i am proof that you can't be on board for 4 days and then be a slacker for the next 3. the weight will creep back.
sigh. so. the mission for today is to not get depressed about this and not use it as an excuse to eat. i need to stay on track and be good for this whole weekend. i did just get back from pilates, so already i feel like i'm putting a better foot forward this weekend.
from the brownie front: yes, there was yet another batch of brownies made last night (#5). no, i am not making this up. i really wish i was. anyway, the bro and i had a little scuffle about said brownies and while i'm probably being childish, at least i didn't eat any of them. i got upset at him for telling me that i "wasn't allowed" to have any and he kept asking in a teasing sort of way how many points there were in a brownie (as he ate 1/2 a pan). i'm sure he was trying to be helpful in a little brother sort of way, but i really don't react well to being told i can't have something (food-wise) by members of my family...even if it is for my own good. it literally makes me *furious* and makes me want to eat massive quantities of whatever it is that i'm forbidden to eat. i don't get it. but, this is a huge issue for me...(um, yea, can you tell that my mom used to tell me i wasn't allowed to eat certain things because they were "for my brother.") anyway, sorry to go all oprah on you...i think i just need to buck up and stop feeling sorry for myself and start making better choices. and just ignore the fact that some people in my family can eat 6000 calories and i can't, even though i'm insanely jealous and find it extremely annoying. good news is that i went and walked very fast on my treadmill instead of eating the brownies like i wanted to...sigh.
here's to a weekend of being good! (whiny, but good)
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6 comments:
Being told you can't have certain foods during childhood, but that your sibling could, would be very hard to deal with. I can understand where you might still be hurt and angry about it, or want to have the foods you were restricted from eating. That's why I think it's important for you to allow yourself to have those things in moderation. Be your own parent by choosing when to give in and when not to. You get to make the decisions about what you eat now--not your brother and not your mom. You are learning to take care of yourself, and I think you're doing a great job.
Oh Meg. Here's to the future, where Devil brother will be balding and have a big ol' gut when he's 45. lol!
just kidding...kind of. Seriously. That boy needs to ship out to China TODAY! And I cannot even wrap my brain around the "not allowed" thing. That's total crap. I completely understand how annoying that is, especially coming from a little brother who has NO CONCEPT of how difficult this whole proccess is. How old are you again? sheesh!
(btw, if I happen to tell Molly she "couldn't" have something, I'd get slapped silly. for real)
Weekends are so hard for me! Here's to the start of a great one!
Grrrr. Well, I don't have to relate my own stories to you for you to know that I totally understand where you are coming from on the family weight issues :)
Make a big print off of the yucky fake ingredients in your brother's brownies so you don't eat them! Or tell him to lock them away somewhere. Like his car. Evil boy.
This whole situation reminds me of that Simpsons episode when Bart ruins Lisa's science fair project. Turns out that the species growing in the petri dish think that Bart is the devil. Ahahar.
While I know it sucks, this is what I would do if I was told not eat something. I'd get all like "fine, I won't have any, and I won't have any of this, and any of this. I'll just eat nothing but water and rice cakes and brocolli. Happy?" and go super the opposite way. And be super hurt and defensive as a result but put it off like "whatever. I don't want any". So I guess you and I are different.
But in a different angle, maybe you should make up rules like that for yourself. And then he can just support them (if he's not being totally tempting and teasing with them). You know you'd love to not have any brownies and he's sort of right, you shouldn't be allowed. But I get he does it in the way that only little brothers can...
I totally agree with soap box girl. I say go get some No Pudge Fudge brownie mix and make your own batch that your brother is NOT ALLOWED to have. Just be sure to make them last :). Just think what all that chocolate is doing to your brother and just like katei said, it WILL catch up to him one day, if not balding and a big gut then a horrible case of adult acne that won't go away.
This is a toughie. And I TOTALLY hear ya on the jealous-of-other-people's-fast-metabolism front. I have felt that way FOREVER.
Stay strong!!
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