wait, it's friday already?

do you ever have those days when you think it's one day, but it's not? well, i seem to be stuck on thursday. today just felt like thursday...even though i had all of my regular friday appointments. hmm.... maybe i need a new brain. or maybe just more sleep.

in any case, long story short: my regularly scheduled weigh in has been postponed until tomorrow due to...being retarded?

oh, and bri is gone until monday.

huh, not as bad as i thought...

(actually, these things are pretty good if you heat them on the griddle w/ a little pam.)

i'm sure most of you probably already know about such things as "low fat/low carb whole wheat tortillas"...but i just discovered them last night. i'm originally from the southwest, so i'm a little bit of a tortilla snob in the first place...i have a really really hard time choking down the widely available packaged brands, so i was a little hesitant to try these. but, they were good! and with 50 cal, 3g fat and 8g fiber, well, i have no complaints. as much as i miss the *real* tortillas we had at home, these are probably better for me...ok, not probably, i'm sure they're better than the ones made with lard.

goal/FJ updates: yesterday was only able to get in 30 min of walking...exercised 2 and ate 24. goal for today was 20 min walking after pilates, but i have a giant headache, so i think i'm gonna skip it or try later. goal for tomorrow: 60 min walking.

oh, and yet another cookie-free day! magic yellow cloth=best idea ever.

Progress Pants: Before edition

Alrighty then. I finally found my progress pants, so I thought I should put them on and take pics as Carolyn and Randi suggested for the challenge. These are some light blue trousers (Gap, 6) that I bought when I lost weight the first time around and thought I could never wear pants like this. I wore them for one year, weather permitting. And they are too small now. Just because I can zip them, doesn't mean I can wear them in public. There is a lot of pulling (see the side shot - nice slit pockets, right?) but the good news is that there is less flab spilling over since the beginning of Skinnify, especially from my love handles.


My early weigh in this morning was 143, the same as last week. I'd been expecting a gain, so I'm pretty happy with it, though getting to 143 did take a bit of negotiation with my scale :) My goal for the Christmas challenge is 135. My real weight loss goal is 128 (I'd like to weigh less than my husband - and I think I wouldn't be too skinny at 128) but for now, I'd be really happy to be in the 130s. And to fit in my blue pants again.

My kayak, Kashi, and apples (and some TJ's dark chocolate) are off to food-hell conference land through the weekend. I won't be able to visit your blogs when I'm gone but will catch up on Monday! Have a great weekend!

my pack a day habit

i'm starting to worry because blueberry season is going to be closing down soon, and I am totally addicted! i eat them with yogurt, cereal, on top of toaster waffles, by themselves...yum yum yum

what will i do when they are out of season and are either a) gross or b) like $6.99 a carton during the winter?

i'm not so crazy about frozen. any ideas? or is there a secret source for good blueberries during the winter that i don't know about? (um, yea, pardon my produce-section naievete...this is the first time in awhile that i've actually routinely grocery shopped for things besides diet coke and microwave popcorn.)

cookie update: none today! hurrah! the magic yellow cloth worked!

FJ: Exercised 4, ate 24
Wednesday Goal: Walking for 60 min.

Motivation dwindling...

Well folks, my weight loss has apparently stopped (just in time for the x-mas challenge). Last week I gained a pound and the scale is telling me I may have done it again. I'm headed to a conference tomorrow, so I have to weigh in early and keep what I anticipate is another gain. Boo. I guess I need to change something in my routine, but it'll be hard this week because I'm away for the rest of it. My plan is to try my best to keep to my flex points (which thankfully reset in the middle), eat my pre-portioned kashi for breakfast, and exercise by kayaking near the conference. It's going to be really hard to keep the calories down and my water up - these conferences are cookie extravaganzas and are usually freezing, so I keep the coffee coming to stay awake and stay warm. I am armed with dark chocolate, kashi TLC bars, and fruit to keep the evil enormous cookies out of my mouth. Or maybe I can throw a napkin on the tray like Meg. ???

Next week - I plan to exercise more more more. I didn't want to "go crazy" with exercise because I want the losses to stick around when I'm not in crazy mode, but at this point, I know I need to do something to see a loss, or my motivation is going to keep sliding. My goal is to alternate 1 hr power walking days with 30 min power walking + 30 pilates and theraband during the work week.

today: ate 23, exercised 3, flex left 16 (for 1.5 days of conference...not too bad)

another week...another 48 cookies

this is what i found on the counter last night:







this is what i have to say about it:













we'll see if it works.

as far as goals...i did walk for 20 min after pilates. yay!

FJ: yesterday i exercised 3 and ate 26...still have all my flex. but, am still thinking about resetting on fridays...hmm..

goal for wednesday: 60 minutes of walking.

Whoops!

Uh, whoopsy. I kinda ate a lot today (starting at 4am when I woke up hungry and couldn't sleep). And I've been feeling off since Sunday so I didn't make it on the old treadmill. Whoops. Ate 27, exercised 0, flex left 16.

weekend strategy..goals...and more goals

i really need to figure out a good strategy for weekends. i really don't know what my problem is---well, ok, i do. lots and lots of bad eating habits that seem to come out of the closet on weekends...

maybe i should reset my flex points on friday instead of monday? i seem to have a lot more control during the week...what do you think?

well...i've decided that long term and weekly goals are a good thing, but i also need some daily goals to keep me going. i usually do great w/ weekly goals until about thursday...anyway, i'm going to keep up with the "more" goals again this week...

long term goal: (carolyn & randi's christmas challenge)
lose 10 lbs.

goals this week:
exercise everyday
more water
more accountability--keep track of everything i eat. no cheating.

(i already met my monday goal: walking for 1 hour. yay!)

goal for tuesday:
walk 20 minutes after my pilates class.

on a side note...i've been thinking about how i lost so much weight at the start and what has changed since then...and i think it's mostly the exercise. i'm eating basically the same, but exercising a lot less. so, i guess for me, exercise really does make a huge difference.

well...that's all for now...have a great monday!

Cherries heart greek yogurt

Went shopping with boy in the Back Bay area today (shocking, he never wants to shop) and we stopped off at TJ's for a non-ice cream treat: Greek yogurt and cherry preserves. YUM MY.



I picked up two shirts at J. Crew - soooo cheap. Original prices: 78 and 58. Bri's Price: 4.50 and 1.80. Seriously. They are cute too, though one is a really low cut halter top thingy. Does any one make low back halter-top under shirts? I was thinking of finding something to sew into there, but it might ruin the shirt. Pooey.

FJ: ate 26, exercised 6, flex left 23

Accounting

Short post - just wanted to account for my points the past two days before I forget:

Friday: ate 25, exercised 3, flex left 33 (Had a small plate for dinner at Chez Henri - was very tasty. Mmmmm.... Then I had pumpkin ice cream at Toscis. Also mmmm...)

Saturday: ate 40, exercised 10 (I grouted the floor in the bathroom all by myself and am now doped up on ibuprofen), flex left 23.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

harumph

well...i didn't actually post my weight last week, did i? yea, i was hoping it wasn't really true.

last week i was 175.8

this week i'm 175.6

i guess i lost .2

what happened to the 171 i had a few weeks ago? booo....


(cookie update: i did not eat any yesterday! AND my brother dragged me to chipotle with him and i ordered a salad.)

will power of steel? we shall see...

booo-urns

I gained a pound, despite putting myself on the scale about 10 times this morning. That pound hasn't gone away. I thought about returning to bed without drinking water and sleeping until that darn pound evaporated, but I really should be going to work. Oh well. I imagine I'll be in the area of 142-143 for a while, as I stalled here last time around too. I guess I need to lose 8 pounds now by X-mas, or Randi's gonna fly to Boston and kick my large ass.

math

ok, i'm sorry people, i seem to constantly be blogging about cookies. i'm not obsessed or anything...

i just wanted to rant a little aboout how life is sooo unfair...which, i'm hoping will keep me from putting more cookies in my mouth.

you see, my skinny bro bought 2 boxes of 24 cookies. (2 x 24 =48 cookies.) i've had 4 total over the last 2 days.

he just opened box #2 and ate 6. meaning, he has..(so far)...eaten 26 cookies.

26 cookies x 5 points each=130 points.

130 POINTS!!!????

and that's just the cookies...he's also had 5-6 cans of regular coke, a STEAK, 2 yogurts and chicken and rice...

sigh. he still weighs less than me and is 6 feet tall.

boo.

(ok, enough whining. i'll go chew on my sugar free gum and get over it)

cookie monster came to call (again)

yea, today wasn't so great...

those stupid cookies were calling to me all day! i had 3. {apparently i can only resist them for about 20-24 hours.} so yummy though...well, i did succeed on the exercise front and i did ok on the water too, so today wasn't a total loss.

today was one of those forage days...eating real meals makes such a huge difference for me--they're so much more satisfying than a bunch of snacky stuff--i just never feel full when i'm eating snacks all day. brilliant, i know--eating actual cooked food w/ vegs, protein etc. is more satisfying than a bunch of empty carbs?! who knew? well, i'll have to keep that in mind tomorrow.

ate 32, exercised 2. 30 flex left.

Mae-Ploy to the rescue

Hear hear for Mae-Ploy, which saved me from a forage fest with the almighty peanut butter tonight. I came home later than normal, hungry, and supremely grumpy (you know, one of those days, the days where you want to find a cave and watch Bridget Jones' Diary 20 thousand times and eat tubs of Godiva raspberry truffle ice cream). But I was saved my tub of Mae-Ploy, the best curry paste evah.

Mixed with some TJ's lowfat coconut milk, tofu, eggplant, cauliflower, baby corn, mushrooms, and green onions, and I had dinner in 23 min. It was sooo tasty - the tofu all soft and yummy. Writing about it makes me want another bowl. Though that ice cream sounds good too - good thing we don't have it in the house :)

I was in a need-chocolate-now state today, which is a reminder that I am a stress eater. I should work on that. Good thing for that Mae-Ploy.

Also, I need to rant that I have HUGE pimple on the forehead. It's hideous. People look at it when they talk to me. I can't even try to conceal it - it would look worse. Sigh. Need cave. need chocolate. need BJ's Diary. (I ate 23, exercised 0, and have 11 flex for tomorrow.)

news from the water front...

well, yesterday was an almost super virtuous day...i did manage to drink about 64 oz. of water...for the possibly the first time ever! i think i like water...it doesn't make me want to eat like diet coke seems to do. i am dumping those crystal light packets into them for some flavor though...yesterday i exercised 3 and ate 26.



(the only reason i wouldn't call it a "super virtuous day" was because i had been successfully avoiding my brother's 2 packages of 24 double chocolate chunk cookies all day (yes, that's 48 cookies in the house), but finally caved and had one at 11 pm. but, i suppose i did exercise restraint, as i have been known to eat about 6-8 of those at a time! yikes)

i just stepped off my treadmill, so hopefully i'm on the way to another good day!

now will someone please come and take all of these cookies out of my house! STAT!

These legs are for walking

Thanks to Meg and Crabby, I've changed my treadmilling exercise from jogging to power walking. You know how it's embarassing to speed walk in public? Well, I'm here to tell it's embarrasing at home too. I just feel dorky. Plus, the boy has been calling me and old foggie while pointing a finger at me and laughing. But, I'm starting to feel my knee when I go up the stairs every once in a while, so I think its time to keep walking. I've also switched over to evening treadmilling - I've been having trouble getting up for exercise in the morning, and I'm tired of hearing people scream on the Today show. We only have one working TV in the house - it;s tiny, and is only used when I'm on the treadmill. So I'm giving prime time a try for the first time in 3 years. So far I'm not impressed, BUT, I did get to see the Biggest Loser, so I might be able to follow everyone's blogs tomorrow :)

Also, Crabby's post today about neighborhood walking reminded me to starting using google maps pedometer again, which I only learned about a few weeks ago. I walk a lot around here, and it's a great tool for tracing your walk to find out how far you've gone! (Crabby, I swear I'm not trying to kiss up, but you write a lot about in-town walking and goofylookin power walking!)

Today, I was hungry hungry hungry. Not a good start for Randi and Carolyn's X-mas challenge, which I'm apparently participating in. Oh well. I ate 26 and exercised 3, leaving 14 left for the next two days. I'm brushing my teeth now, repeating to myself "what's better that not eating chocolate? not brushing your teeth again!"

more or less

so, i've decided to take just a teeny step back and refocus my goals. see, this always happens when i get excited about losing weight. i get all gung-ho and totally revamp all of my eating habits, start exercising a ton and voila! i lose like 7-10 lbs in a few weeks. but, then the weight starts coming back...because most (or none) of the changes stuck. shazam. funny how that works...

so, i think the key for me is to pick 1-2 things to focus on. right now i am having real problems embracing the word "less"...in fact, i think in thinking so much about eating less and weighing less, i've started to eat more, and weigh more.

so, i've decided to think about things i need more of. more is a good word for me. i'm all about more.

so, here are my goals for the week:

more exercise
more water

and that's it. (i'm going to keep counting, but am focusing my attention elsewhere for now)

so....all you water drinkers out there: tell me what you think about drinking water. see, i've never been a water drinker...(i'm more of a diet coke drinker. bad, i know.) but, i'm always hearing people say to drink more water to lose weight. soo...does it work? please, tell it all!


oh, and treadmill day 1 was successful! i woke up 2 hours late and still managed to walk for 30 minutes. i exercised 2 and ate 23.

Gee thanks

I'd really like to thank my body. For losing weight on my finger so that my wedding ring is getting loose. Yeah, thanks a lot. Why can't I lose my weight on my love handles or saddle bags and knees? Because obviously, my body thinks that I want skinny fingers. Gee thanks.

(I'm actually not convinced that my fingers will stay skinny - when I lost weight the first time around and was "skinny", I had my rings resized, and since I'm larger now than I was then, I think I'll wait a bit before sending them to be taken down again.)

But really - my fingers instead of my hips? fabulous.

Today was good, though I'm heading for a horrible work week, so we'll see how I do the rest of the week: ate 23, exercised 3, flex left 17.

the eagle has landed!

well, i have a new roommate! check out the "secret weapon" that i mentioned on friday...

i'm so so so excited about this! i've been hemming and hawing over whether to buy a treadmill for about the last three years...so, when i saw a great deal on amazon.com over labor day, i just couldn't say no.

it arrived on friday and it took me all day saturday to convince my brother to help me carry it upstairs (it's severely heavy)...then i worked on assembling it today. i feel very handy!

i hope this will solve some of the exercise roadblocks that i keep running into...if i don't go walking in the mornings, it just doesn't happen...i oversleep, then it gets too late, i get too busy, then it's dark outside and i don't want to go by myself (i have a million excuses!). this will let me squeeze in some walking at all of the odd times that i have time to exercise...like at night! or i can just roll out of bed and get in a quick 20 minutes instead of driving somewhere (like the park). plus i can justify watching tv!! and, i'm sure this will come in very handy this winter when it is snowing and i can't/won't walk outside. i probably will keep walking outside while the weather is good, but i like having this as an "emergency workout" option.

i walked for an hour today after i finished putting it together and it was great! (while i watched the food network show about the pie making championships...haha!)

umm...counting this weekend has been, hmm...nonexistent. i kind of felt like i needed a break from points because i think i am driving myself crazy...but that's another post. back to counting tomorrow!

Bentomania

Things to add to my "don't keep in the house list": craisins and trail mix.

In more exciting news, I've decided that although I love my husband very much, I really need a Japanese wife. To make me bento boxes. Like these:

Check them out - years and years of them. (Image is from their website, obviously, and I read it about it first at craftzine). Wowzers.

Today, I ate 32, exercised 7, flex left 17.

Ice cream trucks

Bad: Another day of not so much exercise (2 pts)

Good: I didn't eat THAT much (25, flex left 22) though I was faced with "family day lunch" which included 2 ice cream trucks where you could get any ice cream you wanted, for free. I relied heavily on yesterday's realization that eating yucky food makes me feel yucky and I didn't partake in free ice cream. Even though I wanted one of those bullet pops from elementary school, just because. Ignoring thr truck was a huge step for me. You see, my parents never let me get ice cream from the truck or from school, but I was so desperate to get junk food that I helped the school nurse distribute fluoride weekly to get a free ice cream coupon, which I would spend on the biggest, longest lasting "ice cream": the bullet pop. Or that's what I thought it was called, though google images seems to think I'm wrong - you know, the really big popsicle with the red bottom and red in the middle and orange on the sides. Alrighty, I'm rambling. Sorry 'bout that.

Gut reaction

My gut has been speaking to me lately, but especially today when I ate two things that were bad for me: a fun sized snickers (my choice) and store bought frozen key lime pie (I ate just a little, but kinda had to b/c a friend brought it over). Both times. my stomach started hurting, though especially after the evil pie (Meg - we're not having good luck with the cream-based pie, are we?). I'm going to try my best to learn from this experience and try to remember what it feels like to eat junk BEFORE I do it again. I ate a lot today, party out of hunger in the beginning of the day, then I had friends over for dinner, so... ate 32, exercised 2, flex left 25.

Hmm

well, i'm totally inspired by everyone's losses this week! good job girls!

i however, am sucking it up in the weight loss department. mainly due to some spectacularly bad choices on my part. but, i'm working on it. first and foremost is going to bed before 3 am. i really think this is the key.

i did weigh myself today, but i'm going to weigh in again tomorrow morning for a (hopefully) more accurate reading...you see...well, i have a confession to make.

last night we had a test screening for my bro's movie...(which is also kind of my movie.) anyway, the screening went really really well--better than any of us could have hoped. (it is a rough cut right now, and usually people have a hard time watching those). but, everybody liked it! a lot! and it was a "tough crowd"...

so after the screening, we (bro, me and other producers) went to a diner-type place to eat and read the comment sheets and celebrate. it was midnight. yes, i went to a diner at midnight. and i ate a piece of...coconut cream pie...(!?) i know. what was i thinking? seriously. on the list of things you probably should avoid if you want to lose weight, coconut cream anything is on the top of that list.

well, anyway, i have a secret weapon coming today which i'll post about later...

here's to a coconut cream-free friday!

The sag

I've got the sag - you know, the sag under your butt in jeans from being loose. Not exactly a feeling I've had in a while, and I'm rather enjoying it. Maybe one of these days I'll be daring enough to try on some of my smaller jeans to see where I am. I lost one pound this week, and am thrilled for it. At this point, I care more that I'm moving the right direction than how fast I'm going.

For the love of popcorn

Mmmm...popcorn. Can you smell it? We just got our shipment of 12 types of lovely popcorn in from Fireworks. To avoid the transfat of microwave popcorn (and apparently, lung-disease causing butter flavoring), we switched a little while ago to making popcorn on the stovetop or the microwave with a touch of olive oil, then adding in fine salt. It has a vibrant, bright taste, and doesn't take any more effort or time to cook. For microwaving, I don't use a popcorn-specific bowl, but just a large microwaveable tupperware (you know, the hard kind, not the soft rubbermaidy type). I'm really excited to try out all of these beauties, which are actually CHEAPER per pound than Conagra's Orville Redenbacher's. Plus, I like to support small business (let's ignore my obsession with J. Crew and Costco). Now we'll see if I get convince the boy to not buy the 25 lb bag the next time around.

Today was a not so good day at work, and I've actually had no time to exercise. So be it. Ate 21, exercised 0, flex left 11. I'm send my fat go away signals before tomorrow morning's scalefest.

Night Girl vs. Morning Girl

does anybody remember this old Seinfeld bit---the one about night guy and morning guy? how night guy gets to stay up late and do whatever he wants and then morning guy has to pay the consequences?

yea. night girl has been having a little too much fun lately.

night girl ate out at favorite mexican place at approx. 9 pm...then she decided to watch 2 movies w/ the bro instead of doing very important work on invoices. then she stayed up even later to work on editing bro's movie.

and poor morning girl had to get up at 7:30 for pilates after a mere 3 hours sleep.

but the point here is that morning girl did get up! most of the time, morning girl makes much better choices than night girl. but lately, she has been sabotaged by night girl's increasingly late bedtimes.

night girl needs to be grounded or something.


(yesterday...hmmm, not totally sure on the pointage. i need to total those up and figure out how many flex i have left...woefully short on the exercise points this week. not sure if/how i'm going to reach 15 by Saturday...!)

Another purple box

Due to the wealth of Annie's blogging lately, I had a HUGE craving for mac and cheese tonight. But, alas, there was no box of that stuff in my house - I have a serious weakness for it. I "think" a box has 3.5 servings. But I can eat one whole box by myself. in one sitting. I know. I'm terrible. So, I don't keep it (or spicy seafood or kimchi flavored Korean ramen noodles for that matter) in the house.



Instead, I had a nice bunch of cilantro come in my box so I made "quesadillas" with leftover grilled chicken, cheddar, red pepper, and cilantro on whole wheat TJ's tortillas. It was tasty, and surprisingly, ended my temporary "I NEED THE MAC N CHEESE" feeling:



Today was another fake exercise today - 5 points for tiling after eating 23 leaving 12 flex for tomorrow. It worked my legs pretty well, but I wondered: if I were wearing moon boots (see Meg's shocking post below), would I have gotten a better work out?

moonboots are the new awesome

i post today about one of my new, but unexpected favorite things.

as bridget can attest, i have what could only be described as an obsession with very tall shoes. very tall, very cute, very impractical shoes. i'm sure she could write a novel about all of the ridiculous shoe choices i have made (and thereby made her life miserable)...especially when we go on girl vacations. i always seem to wear the worst possible footwear for whatever we are doing because i choose them based on form, not function. (you can ask her about my wooden 4" tall platform clogs in Boston, kitten heels walking all over NYC and across the Brooklyn bridge, platform sandals in Seattle etc. etc.)

suffice it to say, i am not known for making good, practical footwear choices.

which is why my endorsement of a "medical grade" shoe is so noteworthy.

here's the scoop:

i have been having awful back, neck, knee, shoulder and hand problems for about the last 3-4 years...most of which have to do with bad posture, repetitive motion and lifting stuff that is too heavy and doing it with my back, not legs. anyway, that's a different story. this past winter, i decided to put myself in physical therapy to get a handle on all these things so that i wouldn't turn into a gimp at age 27. and it worked and now i'm not a gimp.

anyway, so my physical therapist told me about these shoes called MBTs...and i of course politely listened while thinking "oh no, you are SO not going to get me to buy orthopedic shoes. no no no, not me, not ever. absolutely not!"

but, then i heard my pilates teacher talking about them, and my massage therapist had 3 pairs(yes, it takes an army of people just to keep me mobile), and my mom's pilates teacher has them and blah blah blah...and then i found out that they sell them in the Bliss catalog. for some reason, this made them seem less, i don't know, ugly? but, i was still very skeptical.

the claim is that the shoes will fix your back and knee pain, help with posture...and tone your legs while you stand...and the Bliss catalog claims that they will get rid of cellulite.

BUT...they are also endorsed by nurses...and i apologize to any RNs, but i'm sorry, nurses just aren't known for having cute shoes. comfortable? yes. cute? not so much.

well, my mom (who is also a fan of impractical footwear) decided to join the "dark side" (i.e. orthopedic footwear and sensible shoes) and ordered a pair. and she ordered a pair for me too even though i said "ummm, no thanks...i'd rather use the $245 to buy like 10 pairs of tall, cute shoes."

(yes, they are $245.)

anyway...long story short:
THESE SHOES ARE AMAZING. and i mean, amazing.

every single word is totally true. i can stand up in these working 24 hours straight doing flowers and my back doesn't hurt at all. ( i used to not even be able to walk the day after a wedding...even when i wore good running shoes). lifting and moving heavy objects? no problem.

they do totally work your legs, even while you're just standing there. i have seen a complete leg transformation since i started wearing these. seriously--all the little tiny muscles that make dancers legs look good? yea, that kind of leg transformation. and when i go walking in them, my legs totally burn---way way way more than when i just wear my nikes.

and best of all, the cellulite claim is 100% true. 100%. i wore these every day for a month while i worked on the movie this summer...and while i gained 15 lbs, my legs look better than ever. no, seriously. it defies logic. but i have less yucky back of leg "stuff" now than i have since...ummm...maybe puberty?

anyway. enough of my raving. these shoes are simply awesome. stupendous. fabulous. and this is coming from someone who really hates ugly shoes.

my brother calls them moonboots, but i don't even care that they're hideous. i wear them everyday. and yes, i roll up my jeans when i wear them-------->




(people, this is big. if you asked me 6 months ago if i would be caught dead in these shoes, the answer would have been NO. that's how awesome these are)

they are expensive, yes. but, they have already saved me at least that much in physical therapy co-pays.

i'm saving up for these ones which are supposed to work your legs even more. {honestly, if you knew how out of character it is for me to be saving up for orthopedic shoes...}

so, you can read more about them on their site...i don't really get how they work, all i know is that they are awesome. if you are considering investing in a pair, do it. they're awesome. wait, i already said that. they're...grrrrrreat!

today...was good. exercised 3, ate 26. flex in tact. yay!

Soup season is here

Hurrah! It's soup season. Finally. I've been trying to eat less meat, and one easy way is to starting have hearty soups. I had white bean last week and lentil this week. I might make split pea next. I'm pretty new to soup making, so if anyone has good recipes out there, let me know! I'll try and post/linkto the recipes that I like. I wanted to post a picture of the lentil soup, but I have to admit - it looks terrible, and after seeing all kinds of pictures of beautiful cupcakes and cake all over the slogsphere today, I just can't compete :)

Today, I was bad. I worked from home and didn't exercise at all and ate 22 points, leaving 12 flex left. I really need to find exercise that I like...hrm...

mumus & cupcakes

well, yesterday was another one "for the books." honestly, i don't know what comes over me sometimes. i know i'm not actually crazy, but sometimes...well, i wonder. it was definitely an emotional eating/stress eating fest...mix up a little anxiety, sadness, tiny bit of boredom, a lot of procrastination and some general rebellion against the points system and losing weight in general...and voila, you have a day of food debauchery.

well, this needs to stop since i really don't want to be wearing mumus like fat homer anytime soon...or actually ever.

eating less...why is this such a hard concept for me to embrace?

you know what was bugging me? well, a lot of stuff..but one of the top things is this:


i'm completely obsessed with cupcakes, wedding cakes and cake in general. it's been a long time {semi-secret} dream of mine to either own a cupcake store or to make wedding cakes professionally. seriously. i really really really really really really want to. but i can't. or rather i'm too afraid to because i'm pretty sure i would get ginormously fat because of my lack of self control in the face of any baked goods. a pretty good part of this weight loss quest is that i hope i can get a handle on myself so that i can someday live out my dreams of being a fabulous wedding cake baker and/or cupcake purveyor.

anyway, that's what set me off. i wanted to bake and try a bunch of different recipes, but i was pretty sure i'd end up eating 90% of what i made...so instead i just ate a ton of other stuff because i was mad that i have no self control and can't be a pastry chef. (self-fulfilling prophecy...i know) pretty crazy huh. like i said...sometimes i think i should be committed.

anyway, today was better, i still have 4 points left. (!?) no exercise though.

SOOO...my goal for the week is 15 activity points by saturday and no more crazy eating.

{cupcake image: miette }

Unskinny Reason #4

<------- These are really tasty. I've gone a little nuts with these lately with their salty, crunchy, cheesy goodness. These little guys are FIFTY crackers a serving. But really, who counts that high? I don't. Which must be how I ate 7 servings in 4 days. No wonder I'm unskinny.

Today, I didn't exercise (again, no wonder I'm unskinny!) But, I'm giving myself a break because I'm staying up late tonight redoing everything I did today because it had a tiny weeny mistake all the way through it, which made me irrationally mad. You've been like that, right? This happens to me about 3 times a year. My day will be going along just swell, and then a series of minor incidents will happen, and BOOM. I'm irrationally mad. Fuming. Swearing. Mumbling about how sticky children are when they get in my way. just UGLY. So I had one of those days today. But then I recovered (thanks SusieQ!) and made a HUGE pot of black lentil soup with butternut squash. It smells yummy. Anyway - its miraculous that I didn't stress eat tonight: ate 21, exercised 1 (pathetic), flex left 14.

(image credit: Annie's Homegrown)

No pain no gain?

While I get sometimes think dieting is a bit of a chore, and especially difficult when I'm at home all day or in social situations, for the most part, I'm experiencing "pain-free" dieting. I eat what I used to eat, just a bit less. So I guess I feel the pain a bit there. But I'm feeling really guilty about not "exercising" (i.e. treadmill, pilates, etc.). Instead, I've been riding my bike instead of the bus, and working on my bathroom redo. I suppose when the bathroom is finished and its too cold to bike, I'll have to start my "exercise" again, but I'm feeling that I can't lose because this isn't horrible and painful yet. Do you ever feel like that?

Today: ate 32 (eeps, but worth it: grilled pesto butterflied chicken, herbed grilled bread, greens beans with pine nuts, delicious puffs filled with nutella and hazelnut gelato), "worked off" 5 (primed the wainscoting for the bathroom), flex left 14.

I'm officially an adult

Tonight, we played bridge. I'm really an adult now. Playing bridge is the only social activity that my parents really take part in, and I remember countless nights going to bed, hearing laughter from the dining room and people screaming "2 clubs" and laughing really loud. I know it sounds like an old people game, but it's really an excellent game - I think it's a game I really need to learn better. Sort of a "life" game. Or a requirement in my family. Like golf for business people. Nervermind - I'm not making sense.

The challenge with bridge is the SNACKS. You know, the bowls that sit next to you for 4 hours while you are playing? Thankfully, I was in charge of the snacks and I think I did pretty well: Carr's crackers with goat cheese, snap peas, carrots, yogurt dip, and grapes. There will be a next time though - do you have any suggestions?

Today was a typical Saturday pointswise: ate 33, exercised 3, flex left 21.

fighting the blahs...

the first few weeks i was doing this, i was totally enthusiastic about everything...shopping for healthy food, getting up early to go walking, even weigh-ins. but, i admit, my enthusiasm is a bit lacking these days...i can't seem to drag myself out of bed to exercise for anything. (partially, i think it's because i have an ipod that is a pc ipod and my pc crashed, so i'm stuck with the same songs that i've been listening to forever.) i still like shopping for healthy food, but i kind of just feel...blah...

so, what do you do when you're feeling blah? i know the worst thing to do would be to give up--don't worry, no plans for that. i just need something to jump-start me and bring the enthusiasm level back up. any ideas?

(i suppose seeing losses instead of gains would probably do the trick....)

anyway, yesterday wasn't the best, but i did exercise some mighty self control. i went to the movies and split popcorn w/ skinny bro (no butter) and then afterwards he wanted pizza and i managed to only eat 1 piece and fill up on salad instead. (go me!) however, i did eat 2 skinny cow ice cream sandwiches (moment of weakness) and didn't exercise (grr). I ended with 29.5 eaten...i'm really not sure where i stand w/ flex points--i need to keep better track of those...

Monch munch munch

Did you hear that? that chewing sound? Oh, that's just me. Eating. Fresh off of my first week losing any weight for a while, I spent the day eating. I was unstoppable. I was SO HUNGRY. So, I decided I'd better just eat: 26 points, exercised 2, flex left 31.

boo hoo

well, i seriously debated about whether to weigh in today. i was pretty sure there would be a gain and i didn't want to lower morale...but i decided to do it just for accountability.

and i was right, there was a gain. 175. boo hoo.

but, it's not undeserved...i did a lot of snacking and eating out this week, and not nearly enough exercise. so i'm going to work on staying positive and not going off the deep end/shooting myself in the foot and shoveling food this weekend. i'm just going to ignore the numbers for a little while and get back into the habits i had going for the first two or three weeks. exercise really does make a difference.

and if anyone needs a job and would like to be my full time refrigerator & kitchen cupboard "security guard", let me know...

Well it's about time!

Sheesh. My body likes to play tricks on me and pretends to ignore my weightloss efforts, then sha-zam! loss.

But I'm not complaining. Not today. The scale kept teasing me at 142.5, then springing back up to 143. I'll take it!

I was going to post a pic of my large rear in these pants I used to wear so we can watch "progress" but I can't find them. And I haven't finished my coffee yet, so I'm not awake enough to go looking. Sorry. (You didn't want to see it anyway. It was not pretty.)

(catch-up: yesterday I ate 22, exercised 2, flex 0, but it has reset now, yay!)

a formula for success...

today was not what i'd call a virtuous one...i woke up to a gigantic thunderstorm which put the kabosh on walking outside. i could/should have gone mallwalking, but instead slept in. then we discovered a huge water leak on the main floor of the house (major stress! but it turned out to be easily fixable and not the $3000 repair bill i was worrying about while stuffing things in my mouth and stressing out about it.) anyway, so my "real" job is teaching music lessons, and so after the water leak episode ended, i immediately started teaching. wednesday is one of my longer days--i teach from 2:15 until 9 pm with a 15 minute break from 6:30-6:45.

i think the 15 min break is what killed me today. i ate about 6 pts in that 15 minutes. which would have been fine except that i commenced the eating again when i was done at 9 pm. anyway, i ended up going way way over points and again no exercise. (ate 27--i think--flex left: 27)

here are my goals...or my "formula for success"...or what i need to change STAT if i ever hope to lose any weight.

1. go to bed earlier. (it's 1 am now...i've been averaging about 2-3am for the last 2 weeks. this really does not help in the willpower department.)
2. plan meals in advance
3. plan snacks for teaching breaks in advance
4. exercise everyday...even if its just 10-20 minutes that is better than nothing!
5. write down what i'm eating before it goes in my mouth, not after.
6. drink more water
7. measure measure measure. no more "guessing" (aka "trying to pull a fast one." on who? oh yea, myself...)

Lofty goals, i know. i actually think the late bedtime and the lack of daily exercise is a lot of what has been killing me in the last 2 weeks. i would not be the least bit surprised to see another gain this week.

time to get all the way back on the wagon.

Progress

Well, here are my weekend progress pics. And no, unfortunately, I don't mean weight loss progress. That is slooow going.

This is the top I made with some old Amy Butler fabric I had in my fabric stash. It seems that the easiest clothes to make are ones that aren't fitted, so I feel like I look pregnant, again. Oh well. It's still a fun weekend shirt. I used this belle epoque tutorial, but had to take it in a LOT. It was pretty huge, even though I used my measurements.


Onto the real weekend progress - our full bathroom. We bought a cosmetic fixer upper - as you will see below. This picture does not due these tiles justice. The wall ceiling tiles (that's right, tiles on the ceiling) are beige with brown speckles, with some yellow-with-white-splotches tiles (aka the reverse popcorn jelly belly tiles) as "accents". Horrid. With a yelloweygreen toilet AND tub. Fabulous. Hubby wanted to leave it as is for a while, but I put my foot down. That was many moons ago, but we're picking up the pace again. Like that wallpaper?



Most of my calories burned this week have been slaving over these evil 2in white hex tiles. Eventually, I'll fill in with gray grout.

And the hardest task so far has been replacing the ceiling, which we did very badly. I spent two weeks working on correcting our bad installation with a ginormous (sp?) tub of joint compound. I had retiled the shower a few months ago - but I love the glass mosaic tiles we have running around. We have yet to put in the woodwork (molding around the ceiling and white beadboard with a chairrail on the walls to cover where the wall tiles had been).

Though messy, I'm actually having fun fixing up this old house. Especially since it earned me tons of activity points. YAY!

Today I did well, even under the "nomoreflexpoints" horror from yesterday. I ate 21 points, worked off 5, and have no flex for tomorrow.

i heart pilates

"in 10 sessions you will feel a difference, in 20 sessions you will see a difference and in 30 sessions you will have a whole new body." ---joseph pilates

i'm posting about pilates today because i am a huge believer in finding a form of exercise that works for you. i am also a huge believer in the importance of strength training.

i spent a lot of time in high school lifting weights. i worked with a trainer 2-3x a week and lifted with some of my super athletic friends. it was fun, and i got really strong. however, i believe i can say that i'm one of the 1% of the females who do actually bulk up from lifting weights. (you can ask bri, i was kind of bulky and ripped...but not in a good way.) anyway, even though i did like lifting, i never liked the way i looked.

i know, i know. "females don't have enough testosterone to bulk up." well, that's what my trainer kept telling me...(and she was a girl) i was apparently doing everything right, my body just didn't like it. (i'm posting about it because i figure, maybe there are others out there like me?)

i "discovered" pilates equipment classes about 4 years ago and totally fell in love with them. i really wasn't even sure what pilates was when i first went, i had just heard that it was good for posture, balance and lengthening muscles. pilates equipment uses tension springs and your body weight to strengthen and lengthen muscles. for me, it is a perfect fit. i get the strength training that i need without any of the unsightly gigantic quads and/or biceps that seem to sprout up if i go anywhere near weight lifting equipment. (but again, that is just me...)

pilates also improves balance and coordination. it emphasizes that every motion comes from the core and my teacher really emphasizes the mind-body connection (i.e. mindful movement--kinda yogaish). i've noticed a huge improvement in my posture since i started too. in fact, many physical therapists are now offering pilates equipment classes as part of their treatment. (some insurance companies will pay for it now too!) best of all, i love the way i feel after pilates--i feel worked, strong and long. actually, i remember reading something somewhere awhile back that measured people before and after a pilates equip. class and most people were .5-1 inches taller after! how cool is that?

(oh, and by the way, the oft-used gimmicky quote above is actually true! i always hated the way i looked in jeans before i started pilates...i remember after i had been going for about 4 months ( twice a week), i started getting tons of "did you lose weight?" comments and i started actually liking to go jeans shopping...)

now...one of the major drawbacks is the cost of most pilates equip. classes. (i'm lucky and i happen to live in an area where equipment classes are fairly cheap.) however, more and more places are offering group classes that are less expensive. at the studio i go to, i had to take a few private lessons before i could go to the group classes--but it was really helpful to really learn how to use the equipment... other ideas:
-newer teachers or newer studios are often a lot less expensive than older more established studios
-a lot of studios offer special promotions around the holidays
-some gyms even have reformer classes
-and, if for some reason you are in physical therapy, try and get your insurance to pay for it!!
-(mat classes and videos are also awesome!)

personally, i think even going once a week is totally worth it.

anyway, if lifting weights isn't working for you, pilates is definitely worth a try!


Food journal: first even remotely virtuous day in awhile! exercised 3, ate 24. yay! (i credit my pilates class this morning for getting me back on track :)

image credits: studiodarien.com, rolife.com, fyvie.net

Running on empty.

The title of my post is totally misleading. I'm not actually "running" or hungry. But, thanks to a spur of the moment dinner at a neighbors house, I am about to go until Friday WITHOUT ANY FLEX POINTS. So, I'll be running on empty. So to speak.

Dun dun dun...

I felt it was rude to eat smaller portions or skip parts of the meal. And I really like these neighbors and didn't want to offend. So, I ate as little as I could, but it still managed to be a high point meal (cheese and crackers, mashed potatoes, lamb, beef, dressed salad, dessert). You know, one of those meals that adds up to be ^&*%loads of points, no matter how tiny your portions are.

BUT, I managed to not eat over my flex. At least for today. So I guess I can count that as a minor victory.

FJ: ate 40 (yes, holy crap), exercised 2 (lazy girl, huh?), flex left 0 (zip, null, none, nada), days left in week 2.

back in the saddle again...almost

well. today i woke up exceptionally late and missed exercising...sigh. i guess it was a holiday, but i'm still ticked at myself.

i ended up going out to lunch unexpectedly...to a cheesesteak place. (why am i friends with so many skinny boys???? rahh! i need more girlfriends who eat salads and don't want to go out for 2000+ calorie meals everyday!) well, it was yummy, but not low points. i was otherwise good and ended at 27 points, leaving 31 flex.

tomorrow i will really be back in the saddle. i have my pilates class in the morning and then i'm going walking. and no more cheesesteaks.

can i just say that i am absolutely dreading the scale this friday...oy....it's gonna be baddddd

busy body

Why is it that I get more done on days that I'm don't have to work? Here's hoping that my burst of productivity this weekend extends to my work week...

My house smells delicious - I just made a big pot of white bean kale soup. Hopefully the husband doesn't eat it too fast so I have some healthy, volumous foods for this week. It made me crave a big slab of whole wheat honey bread...so I mixed up the starter for tomorrow night - we'll see if I have time tomorrow to bake it. (Is this a weight loss blog?)

I feel a loss coming on this week...let's hope that my body agrees :)

FJ: ate 23, exercised 4, flex left 18

(Image credt: gourmet.com)

endurance

well, saturday was what can really only be called a "bender"...i was definitely off the wagon.

but, i've hopped back on. hopefully to stay. today i ate 26..exercised 0. but considering saturday, this was a huge improvement. really, i'm not sure what happened. it was like i was possessed... by either cookie monster or jabba the hut. or possibly both.

days like saturday really make me think (well, afterwards!). this is what kills me: i'm not a dumb person. i'm not an incapable person. most people would put me in the "has her stuff together" category. unless they see secret footage of me in the kitchen.... this is one area of life where i definitely do not have my stuff together. yet.

here is my latest conclusion and weekend deep thought:
i've been thinking about running a lot lately. mostly because i wish i could run and didn't have a bad back, bad ankles and bad knees...it would make calorie burning so much less time-consuming.... anyway, back in the day, i used to be a runner. i was a sprinter...i absolutely suck at jogging or any sort of distance running. and basically, it's because i don't know how to pace myself.

and, this seems to be a common theme in my life. i'm really exceptionally good at doing things fast. ( i.e. cramming for tests, pulling together huge weddings in 24-30 hours, speed reading, writing papers 3 hours before they are due etc. etc....) i'm an expert at sprinting. and i like sprinting. i like the adrenaline, the "can i really get this all done??" and i like things to be over quickly.

but, what i need to learn how to do for successful weight loss is pace myself. make small changes and keep plodding along towards the finish line. i think the key is to keep doing it--be as consistent as possible and keep moving forward ...coincidentally, this is something i need to do in the rest of my life too. plod along instead of working in short, furious spurts...it's weird how much is really tied up in this food thing. it's never really about the food.

well. that's all for tonight. oh, did you hear that cookie monster doesn't eat cookies anymore? maybe he's on to something...

weekend = weakened

When faced with food - I just cannot not put it in my mouth. I really need to get better about that during bbq's and social situations. I've eaten so much this weekend, that I need to report it now before I lose track of my points:

sat: ate 33, exercised 3, flex left 22
sun: ate 42, exercised 18, flex left 18

You read that right - I got a lot of exercise in today, so I think my eating fest is somewhat justified today. I really needed the food today, because I was working on our bathroom nonstrp (joining dry wall, sanding, painting, tiling). And it was really exhausing. Every muscle is my body is throbbing right now. I think I'll go to bed now. I'll post some pics later in the week of the bathroom and the shirt I made this weekend.

motivation went a.w.o.l.

hmm...i'm surprised how much that scale reading yesterday has affected me...and not really in a good way. boo. (checked again this morning, and is 174 even.) although i suspect this may have a bit to do w/ impending tom, i'm sure it has more to do with the lack of exercise, too much eating out, too much snacking, too many carbs, not enough vegs etc etc. however, i'm totally puzzled by flatter stomach and jeans that are looser (even when washed).

the problem is, it's just making me want to give up. well, not entirely...but i sort of stopped counting yesterday at about 5 pm...and didn't exercise yesterday. and i got up late this morning and didn't exercise again. arrgh. i suppose i can do something later in the day when it gets cooler...

soooo...i'm sure i just need to mix things up..try a new recipe, and find something besides walking to keep me entertained and get back on track. raahhh. some days i just don't want to be on track. some days i just want to be a glutton. but i want to be a skinny glutton...and that just aint gonna happen.

how many times must i come to the same conclusion????

Oodles of Noodles

I looooove noodles. Doesn't that look yummy? Went out to din din in Chinatown last night - I'd been craving noodles like this for a long time.

Anyway, I went to beer hour at work yesterday hungry. Big mistake. Next time, I need to learn to only go near the diet coke. oh well.

FJ: ate 26, worked off 3, flex left 32