well. here it is. the week that i've been dreading for a long long time is finally here. i don't know why this week in particular seems so daunting, maybe it isn't...maybe it's just that after the 18th everything looks so much brighter?
i'm (thankfully) over the (horrifically inconvenient) stomach flu. and now i need to stop the "i didn't eat anything on saturday and very little on sunday, so that means i can eat everything in the cupboard, fridge and freezer" mentality. the stomach flu did manage to break the terrible diet coke cycle that i've been in for months though (yay!)...i only had 2 today. (that's pretty much unheard of)
whilst lounging around and feeling sickly this weekend, i had some time to think some deep thoughts about my grand weight loss plan. i'm seeing parallels between the state of my house and the state of my diet...for instance, my bathroom is pretty much the last place that i clean in my house...because no one ever sees it. i'm very careful about cleaning all of the rooms that are open to the public, but sometimes my room and bathroom get completely out of control--especially when things get hectic. that's also when my diet and exercise seem to fall by the wayside too.
well, last weekend i cleaned my bathroom and room--i mean scoured and reorganized, top to bottom. and the whole time i was thinking "what's the point? you know as soon as you get busy this will turn into the train wreck that it always does when you get busy. what is the point of all of this work? just leave it. we've been down this road before." this, incidentally, is the same voice i hear in my head all the time when it comes to weight loss. the same voice that says "nahh. you don't really want to exercise. there's no point. you're going to stay the same weight you've always been. you'll fall off the wagon once and then stop counting and then we'll be right back to where we started. you might as well just hit the snooze and then we can go raid the cupboard...we've been down this road before..."
yes. we have been down this road before. BUT, i say to the inner cynic: this time WILL be DIFFERENT. just you watch.
and, so far it has. my bathroom and room are both just as neat and tidy as they were two sundays ago. and they will stay that way. and i'm still counting and exercising. (ha!-- so there, voice.) yes, this is going to be a busy week, but i'm still going to keep counting and journaling and exercising as much as i can. (so there again, voice.) yes, things have completely fallen apart in the past during weeks like these, but that doesn't mean that it has to happen this week. (so--take that you stupid voice.)
so, i don't know if there's some magical connection between cleaning ones bathroom and staying on track...or if it's just a matter of staying in control of things in general...or if it's just about kicking that inner cynic out of my head...but i think i might be on to something. at least for me, anyway.
those are my deep thoughts.
not so deep thoughts: i ate 27 today, exercised 1, so i have 32 flex left.
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6 comments:
Meg - you may be on to something. My room is a disaster area. I think I'll start to tackle that tonight and see if that doesn't help motivate me in other ways as well!
Yeah, this makes a lot of sense to me too. I find that if I let one thing slip up, everything else goes too. I'm really trying to hang on tight to the WW thing while my life is going crazy around me. If only I could keep the house clean too. Where is benefactor to pay for house cleaner. Or, where is my wife?
Great post, Meg. I can definitely see where the "staying on top of things" attitude includes weight issues. I'm pretty neat, but I can just as easily let things slide for a period. It always makes me feel unstable, too. Being on top of my game with food has really helped to build my esteem. I think one reflects the other. If you don't feel good inside, you don't usually take such great care of yourself, which includes food and exercise. Since addressing my diet and exercise I feel so much more confident--like there's nothing I can't do. That may be an exaggerated feeling, but it sure is nice. You know what I mean?
I'm not sure I see the connection. Some people are messy and skinny or fat and clean. But if they are linked in your life then I would go with it. I do know that I love how I feel when I'm on top of everything, house, body, food everything. Feels like a sexy Martha Stewart!
I know what you mean Meg. It's more about the actual voice and what it's saying rather than the actual activity where it's manifest. It could be a messy room, weight, exercise, any habit you'd want to change and make permanent. THere's gonna be resistance, lots of times from that little voice, other times from other people. I think for a lot of us there's going to be that kind of inner battle- there is for me anyway. Good post!
struck--let me know how it goes! so far it's working for me...(fingers crossed)
bri--yes, where is benefactor? and i need a wife too---ha ha ha ha
soapboxgirl--i think you're totally right that being on top of the food thing helps to build esteem. i don't understand why it is so hard to remember that when you're feeling down though! because at those moments, i'm absolutely convinced that lounging about and stuffing things in my mouth will actually make me feel better. and maybe it does, but only for about 10 seconds...or until you go to put on your fav pair of jeans and they don't fit!
randi--lol, sexy martha stewart!! you mean you don't find her cardigans and preppy clothes to be sexy enough?
katieo--glad i'm not the only one who deals w/ the resistant voice! it is soo hard to silence sometimes, but gets quieter w/ practice (i think)
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