whoa.

Q: Meg is allowed 23 points per day and has a total of 34.5 flex points left for the week. If she earned a total of 3 activity points for the day, but has 10.5 flex points left at the end of the day, how many points did she eat?

a) i can't count that high
b) surely not more than 40
c) 50

A: 50 points.

Well. Here is a prime example of how the "all or nothing" mentality can really get you. I knew that I was going to have to go to lunch w/ my g-ma for her b-day today, and she picked this "authentic" (read: greasy) Mexican restaurant which i really happen to hate. (but, i am a bit of a snob about mexican food since i'm from the southwest). Anyway...i knew i'd be having a high points lunch...and i knew there would be tortilla chips calling my name. HOWEVER, i was prepared with my numerous flex points and 3 activity points and a resolve to exercise portion control and become the weight loss genius that i was born to be.

i think the (first) fatal error came when i decided to have a granola bar before leaving to prevent the "i'm ravenous, must stuff face w/ chips" scenario...maybe a good idea? i don't know--it might have been had i stopped there. then, for some reason, i decided that having a few more things before i went would be an even better idea and prevent the chip-face-stuffing that usually happens. I ate 6 points of "snacky" stuff that really didn't fill me up at all.

Well, long story short, i did eat the chips, and a greasy chicken burrito and the greasy rice that came on the side. and then when i got home, i just kept eating. and eating. and then i took a nap. and ate something else. and 50 points later, i realized that a) this type of scenario has been happening a lot in the last few months, b) this is how i mysteriously came to weigh 179, c) i feel sick, sluggish and disgusting and d) it is a freaking miracle that i don't weigh A LOT more than i do. a miracle, i'm telling you.

BUT...this is why i'm choosing to look at today as mini-victory (despite the ridiculous amount of food i ate)

1. I kept track of every single thing i ate and was 100% honest, right down to chip #38.
2. I realized how yucky i feel after eating this much
3. I realized that being out of fruits/vegs to munch on must never happen again.
4. I realized that granola bars are a "gateway drug" for me...leading to other sugary carb-filled things from packages.
5. I realized that when going out, i'm much better off just eating there and not trying any pre-meal preventative snacks.

SOooooo....that's all for today. I plan to be back on track tomorrow and stop all this 50-point silliness.