Thursday, August 9, 2007

URGH...large hips = large clothes

otherwise known as "Bri's rant #2". So I'm all geared up to make this super cute dress out of some cotton saree fabric I have. Then I realized after almost getting run over on my bike this morning (see below), that I'm going to have to change the pattern because by butt is so wide. damn pear shaped arse. Where are the large-assed crafters? It says I should cut the fabric for the dress to be 6 inches bigger than my chest size. Um, 36+6=42=Bri's hip size! NOT ATTRACTIVE. I'll have to measure some of my store-bought dresses to figure out how many more inches I'm going to have to use to conceal my pear-shapeyness. Suggestions? Sigh. Must lose weight NOW. Meg, should we start another blog called thecraftypear? ahaha.

And, I almost got run over this morning. I suppose I should have been more careful about making assumptions about slowing cars at crosswalks. But writing this makes me feel better:
Dear newshinygrayPriusdriverwhotriedrorunmedownthismorning,

Did you take driver's ed? Remember that part about yielding for bikes and pedestrians at crosswalks at major commuting bike paths? And that part about signs telling you to stop for bikes and other people crossing the street?

OK good. I'm glad you remember that now. Because when I stopped my bike and looked at YOU and you slowed down, it meant that you should be STOPPING. When I looked the other way, it was to CHECK FOR CARS IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. This was not me waving you to go while my head was turned.

When my wheel hit you car, did I scratch it? If it did, I'm not sorry since you tried to run me down. Maybe you should stop driving your little "electric" car around and ride a bike for a while, then you will learn to stop at crosswalks. or at least to not slow down and fool innocent bikers into thinking you should have stopped!

Disgruntledly yours,
Bri

5 comments:

Randi said...

Oh my god that totally sucks! I knew a guy who was walking and got hit by a car, but he was actually at fault and since there's no pedestrian insurance he had to pay out of his pocket to have the other guys car fixed.
I would like to join your craftyfatty blog or whatever you called it. I would add the perspective of the apple who has skinny hips but giant monster shoulders and boobs and tummy and has to adjust her clothes the opposite way that you do. Maybe we could give each other our spare fabric that we have to cut out.

Meg said...

eeek, that sucks! glad you weren't run over! i would love to start a craftypear blog, however, as we discussed i have no waist and am more of a "trunk" shape (please see stats for evidence), so I'm not sure if i qualify to participate.

soapbox girl said...

It's shocking what drivers can do to bikers, isn't it? The really hard part about riding your bike is having to control your anger. Especially on days like today, when some jerk almost runs you over and you can't even safely flip him off for fear he'll retaliate with his car. Writing a letter was brilliant! I would have stayed mad all morning about it. BTW- cute, cute dress!

Bri said...

Thanks for the support ladies - I've learned my lesson!

Randi - I'm not sure we'll get around to another blog. I think both Meg and I are spending a "little" too much time blogging right now :) But if I make dress, I'll post...even if my peariness is obvious.

Healthy Pear said...

That letter was so funny!
I hope you know that I'm definitely not trying to make fun of your almost crazy bike accident experience, but you had such a cute and funny way of describing it. Thank God you're ok.
I hope you really scared him after he realized that he hit you!!
As far as that dress, I'm jealous of the fact that you can actually sew! And don't be so hard on yourself! I'm sure you won't need any "extra fabric" to cover your hips. Hope you post a picture when you're done! :)